I hope you are all aware that there is something president Kenyatta is going to ask his wife Mama Ngina. Uhuru Kenyatta wants another wife
As we await her response, we will be conducting a reed dance in the lake city, to enable us do a short listing of the candidates who will present to him for final selection.
We are keen on this to ensure he gets the best. We don’t want a lady who will box him in a few days of the marriage, as such, mannerism tops our priority. We don’t want a militant “mugogo”, or a serial divorcee, who has been unable to put up with anyone.
Secondly, you know there is only one part of a lady’s body whose SI unit is the clock. While standing with the president, these part must point at the president and not the ground, meaning it must be saa sita sharp!
We want the president, Uhuru Kenyatta, to be a very happy man. Again, we don’t want a professional ohangla dancer who will be leaving the president in the cold to follow some basement dweller who sings Ohangla.
She must not be a drunkard. We all know our president values his pombe. We don’t want anyone who will embarrass us by drinking the president’s precious stuff. Medical tests are also mandatory, we don’t want someone who will infect our president with kaswende.
Potential candidates can get in touch with Othwes Jamabinju who is in head of the selection panel. There are more tests he may ask to do, just to ensure we don’t import a Lake Kanyaboli to Gatundu.
Lastly can someone check if Anwar Sadat has recovered from the “ambululu” that hit him when he saw what happened in Kisumu?
Good morning my fellow hoof eaters!!
Uhuru Kenyatta wants another wife, what do you think?