Early fatherhood or late fatherhood ? What could be better? The question has been bothering people for a long time, and more and more often they come to the conclusion that it makes sense to wait a while until you have children.
But is this approach perhaps a bit of repression in order to suddenly realize that it is “too late”? Young fathers are different from older ones, that’s for sure. Ultimately, it has both advantages and disadvantages.
“Let’s wait a little longer.” This argument is one of the most common and also the simplest when it comes to waiting to conceive a baby. Mostly it’s about career, training, self-realization.
And of course about the finances, which are not yet enough to feed a little “plug”. Young fathers, on the other hand, often find their new role through an “accident”. And not infrequently have difficulties filling them out.
Early fatherhood or late fatherhood, cliché or not
Young men want to experience something. They want to celebrate, they don’t want to be tied to a single woman and primarily think of themselves. That is the cliché. In fact, it cannot be presented in such a general way.
Nevertheless: the risk that young men are overwhelmed with looking after a child cannot be dismissed out of hand. Especially since a good upbringing requires two people who have developed a certain maturity and can rely on each other. A lot of personal freedom is lost with a child, and relationships can also suffer. It is all the more important that father and mother can better face challenges through a stable relationship.
On the other hand: No matter how old you are, excessive demands can always arise, it is not primarily related to age, but to the general attitude towards life. Young fathers can definitely have an advantage here.
They have not yet been marked by experiences that have led to injuries in the past or obstruct a “clear view”. It is precisely the lack of experience that can contribute to positive energy emanating from a young father that is transferred to the child.
Not least, becoming a father at an early age facilitates access to the child. Young fathers are simply “closer” to the offspring. This can lead to a constructive maturation process and too much understanding for the child.
Social problem cases: older fathers
Little Tim was allowed to play in the shopping center’s children’s area while his parents do their shopping. When his father picks him up, the teacher calls out to the little boy: “Tim, your grandfather is here!” Tim corrects the woman with a natural calm, the teacher is embarrassed. And thinks inside: “My God, having a child so late – irresponsible!”
Late fathers don’t have it easy in society. It’s a bit like men falling in love with women who are significantly younger. You have a difficult position, selfishness and self-expression are assumed.
This obvious conclusion is not that far off, but in a more positive sense than one would assume. Indeed, selfishness is often one of the motivations that late men become fathers. The egoism of days gone by. It is not uncommon for the birth of a child at an advanced age not to be the first to be experienced by affected men.
However, it follows a more conscious thought process, because the children born many years ago often received too little love and attention because the fathers’ work, relationship or hobbies (maybe even everything equally) were in the foreground. Now, so many years later, many men are realizing that you can no longer catch up or bring back time with your child. The young man’s egoism from times long past leads him to want to do it better now, later.
That may not be particularly recognized by society, but it is wonderful for the children when they feel how much love and care they receive from their father. Only the firstborn do not always handle it with confidence, which is understandable, however.
Close or far from the values?
As already described above, it can be easier for young fathers to share ideas about values or morals, perhaps also about social and political convictions, with the child. A father who passed the age of 50 when the child was born grew up in a completely different time, with completely different values and in the context of a technology that is completely out of date from today’s perspective.
Communication via social media, different behavior regarding sexuality and ultimately a different youth language can be a real challenge for late fathers, while younger fathers are more a match for them.
There is also the question of whether one can still fully meet the demands that children place on their parents at an advanced age. From the age of sixty you can still romp around with your son as you would have been at 40? Questionable
But when you think it through to the end, it’s all just a question of willingness to learn from the father role and slowly grow into it. Here the late father can have an advantage over his younger counterpart because he is more experienced, calmer and able to take the time it takes to keep up with the child’s developments.
And at one point the two opposites meet sooner and later father with the greatest probability anyway: when the child reaches puberty. Because at this time (almost) no father understands his child. No matter how old or young he is.
Early fatherhood or late fatherhood, which would you recommend.